My Grandma's Rollercoaster Ride

Hello everyone! I apologize for not posting in such a long time, I have been super busy with many different aspects of my life. I’m ready to get back to posting on a regular schedule again.

There have been some recent developments regarding the health of my grandmother, and I wanted to explain to you (in an Autism point of view) what’s going on.

So a couple of weeks ago, my grandma was admitted to the hospital. She had an unsuccessful surgery and after two weeks of being in the hospital, multiple different physicians independently came to the same conclusion that she had anywhere between a few hours and a few days to live before she would pass away. I know that death is a natural part of the life cycle and I have experienced death before. My grandma is ninety-three years old and has lived a fabulous life. She was put on hospice and the waiting game began.

I was obviously very upset about this situation. I am usually a pretty affectionate person, however, I did not want to be touched or talked to during this time. I texted some of my friends, told them what was going on, and just asked for support in the coming days/weeks/months. During unexpected and upsetting events such as this one, some people with Autism may have a complete change in behavior, which is expected. For example with me, I went from a hugger to someone who did not want any. People who don’t like affection may suddenly start wanting affection.

In addition, I pushed off my work deadlines and was not able to function for a day. Even though I had school and college counselor appointment deadlines, I stayed in bed for a day and was in my own feelings. From this, I have started to realize that I need to learn how to continue to function even when there are negative things going on in my life.

Now here’s the weird part in this whole situation: about a week ago, my grandma started to feel better. The physicians ordered another CT scan and to everyone’s surprise, there was a major improvement. In other words, there was a “medical miracle” and nobody knows how. She is now off of hospice and back to rehab in her assisted living community. This is where my logical brain comes into play and my emotions get the better of me. I am obviously happy that she is doing much better, yet extremely frustrated with the situation that took place. In my mind, there was obviously some sort of human error that occurred because in my mind, when five or six different doctors independently come to the same conclusion, and then the situation “magically” gets better, something must have gone wrong. I am upset that I had to go through this entire rollercoaster ride, trying my hardest to prepare for a life without my grandma, who is so extremely close to me. She is not out of the woods yet so to say, but it’s looking much better. I’ve been told that this is called “black and white thinking.”

Again, a lot of things have been going on, but I am thankful that she is doing better. Looking back at this situation, the main thing I want parents, friends, and teachers of individuals with Autism to know is that the best way to help someone cope may not be the “usual method;” behavior may change and you may need to adapt. Everyone with Autism is different, so it’s really a case by case basis.

I will definitely keep you all updated during this time. I want to take a moment to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for my family, friends, and viewers who allow me to share my story on such an amazing platform. Thank you all for your loyal viewership within the past almost three years. I cannot wait to keep sharing my stories and inspiring people around the world.

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